Your children are not your children.
They are the sons and daughters of Life’s longing for itself.
They come through you but not from you,
And though they are with you yet they belong not to you.
You may give them your love but not your thoughts,
For they have their own thoughts.
You may house their bodies but not their souls,
For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow,
which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.
You may strive to be like them,
but seek not to make them like you.
For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday.
You are the bows from which your children
as living arrows are sent forth.
The archer sees the mark upon the path of the infinite,
and He bends you with His might
that His arrows may go swift and far.
Let your bending in the archer’s hand be for gladness;
For even as He loves the arrow that flies,
so He loves also the bow that is stable.
Long before I became a mother, I came across the prophet Khalil Gibran and especially the poem “On Children”. Intuitively, I sensed the deep truth of these words. I kept the words close to my heart and in retrospect I can say that they have always been a source of guidance for my actions when I have had to interact with children as a camp leader, counselor, teacher and mother.
For a long time, however, I had no idea how to get to the point where I could use the words as more than just a guiding light on the outside. I wanted to discover this truth within myself….
Over four years ago, I met a group of people that would turn my world upside down.
When I first interacted with them, I knew I wanted to be a part of this group. At that time I didn’t really know why. I just felt this deep desire to spend more time with them and get to know them.
After a while, I realized that they didn’t just happen to be the way they were. They were actually doing something about it!
“OK,” I thought to myself, “then I have to do something too! Because I do want to be a part of them…”
This was the beginning of my journey to more consciousness, supported by this group of people, since I would not have found the way on my own.
From then on I regularly attended courses in integral shadow and body work, participated in mind groups and started meditating.
In the following months and years, I became aware of some hidden (repressed) parts of myself. I dug them out, shed light on them, went through a lot of pain, became incredibly angry and was sometimes at the edge of despair. There were times when only this desire to be with these people kept me going, because for the first time in my life I seemed to have found my place. I had found my family.
I explored every area of my Self. This included being a mother (more about this in an upcoming text…) and confronted myself with many unpleasant things. Through all these processes I experienced a transformation I would never have dreamed of. Today I live a free and self-empowered life, and being a mother arises from a deep, physical wisdom.
I realized over time that I have come a great deal closer to the words of Khalil Gibran. I have found the wisdom of the words within me. I now see very clearly how I can guide my child and the children in my care on their path to growing up in such a way that they become these living arrows. I recognize the qualities of the bow that draws and the power that expands within me.
With this image in mind, all the upcoming texts are meant to shake your foundations again and again, to show you new perspectives and, above all, to remind you over and over again what it takes to be this stable bow, where the forces in you lie that draw the bow and, above all, how you get to the point of sending these living arrows into the world.
Are you ready to embark on this journey?
Are you ready to really get the best out of yourself for your children?
Are you ready to take paths that seem far too dangerous or that are only just appearing in front of you?
Yes! – Then I would like to invite you and I will be delighted if you follow my texts and thus discover step by step the stable bow and the expanding power within yourself.
AII the best Nicole
PS: I will always talk about your or our children in all texts. However, this does not mean that the content applies only to parents. The topics mentioned here are relevant to all people who interact with children in any way. This means that besides parents, this also includes teachers, educators, caregivers, grandparents, aunts and uncles, godparents, neighbors, people traveling on the train… In fact, all people!
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